Saturday, August 8, 2009

Just a thought!!

So im sitting here with my son enjoying some time until daddy gets home. I really get a little time to think before the house starts jumping lol. I really am grateful to have such a wonderful family. Sometimes we may not agree but when it all boils down to it we are a team. When it comes to family its all taken seriously as far as decision go. Not to say we dont have fun and enjoy each others company but how do you really get a break from baby and each other on your schedule. It is so hard to take time out for myself or even share love with one another without the constant interruption of hunger, discomfort or some type of other need the other person has. Also how is a plann worked to who gets the most break (lol). We are first time parents and are now fully feeling the difficulties 4 months in. Having a peaceful and happy baby makes it a little easier but when it comes to work I dont think he understands how much of a job it is to watch a child. Although he is easily entertained with toys and other stimulating things the care and being able to get things done is a little more difficult. Maybe my SO doesnt think I know his feeling because im a sahm and he works full time. We are both in school but he may not feel I do as much but taking care of baby, keeping the house in order, running errands and more take a lot more than 8 hrs a day to complete. I need some input from other women in my situation. Feel free to comment without bashing please and thank you:)


  1. I've found that in ANY relationship there are "outside" requirements like work, children, friends, hobbies, etc so there can be conflicts of wants v.s. needs.

    The best cure for fearing his thoughts on the subject is to ask him what he thinks.

    Open, honnest comunication lets you both know that your contributions to the hosehold are appreciated. It lets you voice your fears with the one you love and have them share their fears with you. Once everyone knows where the other is comming from, compromise and co-operation are so much easier.

    Just keep in mind that fair isn't always fair. Just cause you only want a half hour soak in the tub three times a week doesn't mean that he's only going to want one and a half hours of golf on Saturday.

    Ignore the clock and focus the personal wants and needs of both people. Seriously get into the habit of talking about things that mater(not just bills and who should have done the dishes lastnight).

    Guys respond best to structure. If you set aside 20-30 min once a week to talk, he won't dread the conversation like if you just randomly spring "we need to talk" out of nowhere.

    As a girl to a girl, we both know it's not from nowhere, but to a guy thinking about work tomorrow and the game on the weekend it's a big switch of topics. Setting aside the time beforehand gives him the chance to change gears and get his thoughts together.

    As the bread winner of this household please take your husband seriously when he says it's a lot of stress to be the one working. He may just be "sitting at a desk all day" but he's doing it to ensure you and the little one have a roof and food. Don't belittle eachother's contributions as you're both working towards the same goal. A happy healthy household.

    My $0.02 turned into more like a nickel but I hope it helps.
    Best Wishes for all of you,
    ~ Shannon

    P.S. **Before I get flamed by guys, we are equal but different. Men have been programed not to think about their feelings or really talk about personal needs and as such tend to need a minute to get into that frame of mind. Women tend to have trouble with being detached and therefore have to take a minute before doing something that's "right" but feels "wrong" (like firing a father of four who's costing the company millions)**

  2. thanks a lot this really brings on a new perspective

  3. Schedule time! Yes, the schedule can be flexible, but make it priority. Schedule some time just for you each day...and time for you as a couple at least once a week. Easier said than done I know!!!!

  4. Glad I could help. :) Sometimes all you need is new eyes.